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Tuesday, March 24, 2020
Friday, March 13, 2020
Coronavisrus Invasion
As of today, March
13th, Planet Earth is closed! This action is necessary to
accommodate the rampant stupidity flying across the planet today. It has also
been reported, by unnamed sources, that the Martians and Mercurities have
diverted their invasion forces. Why? It was once thought by their leaders they
would find intelligent life on Earth. For eons they watched our planet evolve.
They marveled at the technological advances those puny humans made. In one
century, they made great strides in medicine, weapons, philosophy, empathy and
to a degree enlightenment. They were wiping out crippling diseases, extending
life expectancies and reducing birth rate mortalities.
At
one point, they feared the planet was in trouble in 1918. A disease unknown to
the foreigners swept across the planet decimating a third of its population. But
they rebounded and forged forward. Still, man continued to battle back. They
noticed other diseases that were rampant in the human race. After intercepted
messages they learned of Small pox, Cholera, tuberculosis, whooping cough,
typhus Polio, measles, mumps and something called Eboli.
By
the Earth calendar another cataclysmic event occurred, they called it World War
Two. While both of the invading armies were familiar with war, what they
witnessed was frightening. With the exception of a few countries, the Earth was
on fire. In the end, they wept for the 60million lives the conflict
extinguished. But once again, those people on the paradise planet prevailed and
came back stronger, smarter and more resilient than ever. But then, the tide began
turning in a way no one could foresee.
The
invention of what the Earthlings called the, “I-Phone” made connectivity to all
humans possible overnight. Information could be sent around the globe in a
matter of seconds. Truly, it appeared the time was ripe to move-in and glean the
fruits of this advanced societies advances. Or was it? There was one invention they took for
granted-Television. On the surface they admired the technology and found it
amusing at times. They were amazed at how a race so advanced could be so enthralled
with a box displaying images. A once proud planet that thrived on hard work, resiliency
and physical exertion was becoming complacent, lethargic and lazy. Still, if
they got there in time, the prize was worth taking.
And
then the unimaginable happened. They watched through their imaging devices a
panic unseen in their centuries of studying the planet. A mass panic was
gripping the planet. Was it a coming war? Was a natural catastrophe occurring?
Were the bodies of water rising? Were storms ravaging the surface? No. It was
none of these. Then what could it be? The question was answered when then
decided to examine those boxes that were in every household across the world.
For those that didn’t have one, they were found congregating at other gathering
places glued to every word the other humans were saying. Why?
When
they found the answer they were searching for, they were shocked. This race of
people that had endured, suffered, risen again and flourished were being
convinced that the world as they knew it was coming to an end. Something called
Coronavirus was sweeping the planet and it was the people in the boxes who were
spreading the word. But it wasn’t only the words they spoke it was the way they
spoke. They found themselves mesmerized by the bright spot lights, the smartly
dressed hosts and the headlines that kept changing. For several days they too,
became transfixed with the box and those who kept talking to them. When the
commanders of the invasion fleets were not receiving daily reports, they decided
it was time to investigate what was going on.
They
were shocked! None of the normal duties or maintenance operations were being performed.
Drills had been canceled. Debris littered the once pristine floor. When they
identified the problem and held a high-level conference, they came to the same
conclusion, in order for them to achieve their goals, they would have cut the
transmission and attempt to regain control and discipline. They knew there
could be backlash, but it was worth the chance. Without asking for consent the
transmission was cut. The initial reaction was as expected. A few cases of
mutiny were logged. Many of the soldiers displayed acts of depression and
withdrew from the others. Sick bays were crowded with lethargic, lazy, mindless
individuals. They had lost the ability to think for themselves and function. In
a week, there were signs of improvement. The doctors verified the leaders
fears-it was the box that had caused the epidemic. Turning off the box was the
best medicine.
With
this new found information, both forces convened a military conference to
discuss future plans. It was agreed, at this time, all plans of conquest were
put on hold until the people of the planet were able to regain their senses and
become the resilient race they had studied and admired for centuries.
During
the conference one of the leaders who was considered an expert on the human
race brought up a saying he had gleaned from his intense studies that came from
the 1980’s, earth time. It was, “garbage in, garbage out.” At the time, the
saying baffled him. No longer. After studying the mysterious box and reading
the doctors reports, he now understood the words and their effect on the human
race. How would it effect his people? It was decided, the risk wasn’t worth it.
See,
they weren’t coming to conquer the planet in a sense, they were coming to consume
those they had been studying and one must be careful what they consume, shouldn’t
they?
Audio version: http://ow.ly/UMGM50yLCao
Audio version: http://ow.ly/UMGM50yLCao
Thursday, March 5, 2020
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