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Friday, July 17, 2015

Tribulations of Laundry

I'm going to get chastised for this, but like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie. I went to my daughters last night after a grueling day on the job. Since I knew where I was going, I decided to take my laundry with me. One must be efficient at all times. I told her I would bring the food for our festive feast. Well, the night started well enough. Oh, wait. I forget to mention an important caveat.

One of the dear members of the Irving Writers Connection​ decided to weigh anchor and head for Maui. Before she said Bon Voyage, she was gracious enough to grace the members with many of her fine works, FREE! Mary Scarborough’s​ writing style is extremely witty and charming. I knew my middle granddaughter would enjoy one of the stories with immense interest. So, in an effort to consolidate, I placed the book in my laundry bag, again, being efficient and well thought out.

I arrived at Savanna​'s and the activities began. As we were preparing the fine culinary fest, her roommate, Shawna, came strutting through the kitchen with a load of clothes in tow. A light bulb went off in my head. "Hey, do you mind if I do a load first?" See, I had it all planned out. Start the laundry, help with the cooking, eat, relax, dry the clothes, abscond the leftovers, fold, hang and load the clean clothes then vacate to Dallas—an hour commute.

I ran to the truck, grabbed my bag and loaded the washer."Odd, why do I keep feeling something in the clothes. I looked and prodded, yet I couldn't identify the object. Regardless, I was off schedule so proceeded forward with an Old Man Intellect. Dinner was cooked and served. It was a Kingly feast. I enjoyed a smoke on the veranda then retired back to the living and threw the clothes into the dryer.

Odd, why does it look like it snowed in the laundry? Must have been an errant receipt or perhaps I cleansed my checkbook. Undeterred, into the dryer they went.

Forty minutes later and back on schedule, I opened the dryer only to be met with a flurry of white snow! It was everywhere. What, I say, WHAT in the hello is in the laundry? One by one I pulled out my white speckled clean(?) clothing only to be met with more of the floating particles and then I saw it. The remnants of a mangled, massacred, mutilated half size binder. "No, No, oh shit, Hell NO! There is no way I did the unthinkable. Yes, it's true. I washed her masterpiece. To be perfectly honest, I've performed some major bone-head moves in my day, but I believe this one takes the cake., Mary my deepest apologies. I do hope I can borrow a copy from one of the other members. I know Leah will enjoy it and trust me, it will never see the inside of a laundry bag. 

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