Technologically incompetent

It's official! I've entered the 21st century and modern technology. I learned how to use the voice message device. The salesman said it would take awhile before it would recognize my voice. It's working. I said, "Call Michelle Pfieffer." The phone started laughing. Thinking I misspoke, I tried again. "Call Britanny Spears." More laughter. Hmm. I turned it off thinking there might be a glitch in the system. You know how they tell us to reboot and that will fix the problem, right? Okay, one more time. "Call Rachel Welch." My request was met with silence. Let's try this one more time. "Call Rachel...." The phone turned off and rebooted on its own. I blankly stared at the screen as it completed the cycle. "Has Rod Serling made an unscheduled visit?" As I tried to complete my date night calls, the phone started laughing again and responded with laughter, "Mr. Dawson, we can only connect calls with a valid request. Oh, we're not sure what you're smoking in Dallas, but we suggest a new supplier." This was followed by two minutes of multiple laughter. I guess it has recognized my voice. Now, how do I get my money back? I hate modern technology.

Where's Bryan Boiarsky and Steve Osborn? I know they're behind this conspiracy.

One final monumental note, I'll be somewhat joining the 21st century (I'm cringing as I write this). I'm going to purchase a smart phone today. For those who know me, you can stop laughing now. Jeff Dawson-Smartphone. The oxymoron for the day. All intelligent comments will be swiftly shifted to file 13; including mine. Have a good day.

You all thought I was kidding didn't you? I went back and notice the font size decided to be stubborn. Only I could have this happen. Let's try this version.