If you thought Julia and mine's exchange of love letters was exciting, you're going to love the exchange between Nadezhda and myself. This gal has got to be the wildest little thing I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. Her mastery of the English language is so good, I know I drank at least two kegs of beer responding to her, trying to maintain what little sanity I had left from Julia. Enough about me. Let's get this show rolling! Yep, for the small of $.99, you two can enter the wonderful world of internet dating and decided just how much you really want her keeping you warm at night.
Catfished Again! Jeff and Naughty Nadia's Saga
Catfished Again! Jeff and Naughty Nadia's Saga
Introduction: Is one really necessary? Well, if you missed the first work, “Catfished? Jeff and Julia’s Saga,” I’ll need to lay(pun intended) a little ground work. Back in May I received a thrilling letter from my Turkish Tart, Julia. She swore her undying love for me. Obviously she hasn’t seen me naked. Even I shudder at the thought. Moving on.
After a few months of exciting barbing and innuendos I thought my days of hammering on the keyboard responding to Eastern European women had come to a close. Not so fast.
Instead of running them off, along comes little Nadezhda. She professes to be from the “Motherland.” Who am I to deny her the pleasure of getting to know a true, red-blooded, American male? I knew if I didn’t reply I might damage her delicate psyche and dash her quest for true love. So, being the gentlemen I am, I honored her wishes and started communicating.
This is our compelling love story. WARNING! If you’re looking for a grammatically correct work of art, trust me, this isn’t it. This gal rambles on worse than any woman I’ve ever known and her, or the company she works for, put a spin on the English language that will have professors and teachers looking for a rope, a gun or a high ledge as they attempt to purge their brains of the butchery of our beloved language.
You have been warned.
Dedication: To all my male brethren who still think they will find love seven thousand miles away. Guys, if they can’t spell worth a damn, what in the world are you two going to talk about after knocking her bottom out or taking her around the world twice? That’s right, absolutely nothing!
However, if you’re willing to send a few thousand dollars to the East in hope of finding your true love, remember this, when they get here and learn English, our customs and of course, our laws, it’s game on! And I do mean, Game On! Can anyone say, DIVORCE ATTORNEY?!?!?!
June 16 Nadia
Hello there! How are you? I'm glad that I met you on a dating site and get your responce this evening! I deleted my profile, because i don't like dating sites:) or probably I do something wrong. And I should admit that I feel uncertainty :) But I nevertheless hope that your heart is open for new friends, and I know that right now I must write at least the most important things about myself.
Well, You know, my name is Nadezhda. My height is 169cm (I think it is 5,7 feet). Did you think I am low? Or not))) My weight, if I'm not mistaken - 118 pounds. I'm 28. My birthday is November, 19
<This one is off to a blazing start. She’s not sure about her height or weight, but is convinced she was born on November 19th. If this was baseball, she’d be hitting .333 and well on her way to the HOF>
I was in relationship for 2 years. I have no kids and at present live alone by myself, that means no boyfriend, what is about you?
<Shocking! Living alone means she doesn’t have a boyfriend. This should have made the five o’clock news cast in Moscow>
Now I live in the Russian Federation. But I lived in the Usa Nevada the city of Reno for some time. I trained and worked in a dentist area. I am a dentist.
<Trained in a Dentist area? This one sounds kinky. Looking at her picture, I’m questioning her sincerity. What is she, maybe 22?>
If it is interesting to you, I shall speak more about it.
<Get on with it. I’m dying to hear more.>
I aware that Russia maybe too far away from you, but I think it will not be a barrier.
And probably soon I shall travel again. Now I live in a little town in a central part of Russia, the city of Efremov,Tulsky region. mmm... yes I like to travel. I visited different countries. I shall speak about it later.
<This is the second time she promised to talk about it later. Already trying my patience.>
I think it's great to have some friends who live in the other parts of the world. Do you agree with me?
And I sincerely think that for friendship there are no borders or distances. But enough about it. I feel that I should finish my letter because I even don't know if you are still interested in a dialogue with me or not. I hope you do. But if you have no desire to talk to me anymore, please, at least, write me about it.
I want to ask you some questions. :). Simply I would be glad to know Where you live? where do you work, and do you like your work?
And, in general, what are your interests? It's a banal questions certainly :)
<Got to give this one points for using the word banal. Maybe she doesn’t have relations to Julia?>
But i would like to know more about you. And by the way, I will be glad to have more your pictures! Therefore do not hesitate :) I will write you the day after tomorrow if everything is alright! Hope to see your letter soon !
<What? The Day after Tomorrow? The world will be encased in the next ice-age!>
Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!
<Happy what? She must have really tied one on. This has potential.>
June 19 Nadia
Hi !!! It's me Nadezhda.
< Good start. She knows who she is.>
The first thing, I want to do is to say "thank you" for your fast answer!!! :)
It means that your heart is open for new friends:) I think it's Great, because friendship brightens people's life and refreshes souls, doesn't it? That is why I was so glad to see your letter. I am happy to have received the message from the dating site, with your email address from your profile, and have decided to write a letter to you, and I wasn't mistaken.
< She gets points for admitting she’s on a dating site.>
Ok, Probably you have already noticed that I'm not able to keep my emotions inside. :) Of course I am talking about joy, about good mood, about all good and positive things that can be in my soul. I always try to share my joy with other people. I never try to show people that I am grieved or I have some problems. Therefore all people who I work with and communicate are sure that everything in my life is perfect, that I am a happy woman, that I have no disappointments. But unfortunately it is not always true, because when a person is lonely, nothing can cure sadness. And if you ever felt the same, of course you understand what I am speaking about.
Well, I must tell that I try to write in English as good as possible (within my knowledge). I hope you understand all what I write:)
< So far, she’s got Julia beat by a mile.>
I have been already studying English for more than 10 years, but I understand that my English is not quite correct. Therefore I apologize for my mistakes :).
At school I wanted to be a traveler or singer and even finished a musical school. But I sing songs during my life just for myself and do it quite good :) and I play the guitar. do you play any musical instruments or sing? :)
<Sooner or later, I knew if I stuck with one of these gals, I’d be able to help a friend. Hey, Steve, need a backup player for a gig?>
When I finished school I realized that I want to work in a medical field. And after school I entered The Kazan State Medical University (the Dentist faculty).After 7 years of studying there I received an excellent diploma on "Dentist".
<Anyone? Are there Wal-Marts in Russia? Appears they’re having a run in aisle five on Dental Diplomas.>
An excellent diploma is called red in our country. The red diploma is the highest mark at graduating from the university in our country. I have been working as a dentist for 4 years, I like my job in spite of the fact I have to work a lot. Also I have interesting seminar trips to many places. I go there to get my work experience. Once I was offered a training course n Canada, and I agreed. It was a good chance for me to see the world. During the courses in Canada I studied English.
<She’s starting to reach. She’s been studying English for ten years and decides to take more courses in Canada? Perhaps she meant French. No?>
Then I decided to work in English speaking countries. It's a good experience for me. Also it's very interesting.
<I knew it was too good to be true. They don’t speak English in Canada! How shocking!>
After finishing the training courses in Canada I was offered the job in the USA in Nevada. I accepted it with great pleasure.
But half a year ago I returned to Russia. It was necessary to settle some questions.
< I’m sure they were very unsettling questions at that.>
And Now I work in a local clinic in our town. Can you tell me how you chose your job?
Well, what you are looking for in a woman ? Probably you have many female friends in the Internet. :) ..mmm..
< I don’t have the heart to tell her about Julia. Which reminds me, where the hell did that little tart vanish too? Hmm.>
What else to tell you about myself as I have little time.. By the way, I use the computer in the laboratory and work from Monday till Friday. But sometimes on Saturday and Sunday.
< I think it’s a bit early for me to be concerned with her work habits.>
Therefore, maybe I will be able to write letters at weekends, if you want :)
This computer is located in the medical analyses room.
<And we care why?>
Well, now this computer will be used for my dialogue with ! :)
<Repeat above comment. And???>
I think you understood, I'm still single and I have no children. I wanted as well to learn more about your family .I miss my parents too much...
<Anyone out there think she was still single without kids? I was worrying I was being scammed.>
Now I have to go back to work and hope to see you soon.
Have a nice day !
PS. I sent you more pictures. Hope you like it.
I’m guessing she might be of the ripe old age of twenty. I have children older than this.
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